Positive ~ Confident ~ Children

It’s the first day of School and my children are headed off to the halls of 7^th, 5^th, & 1^st grades.  They are excited to meet new teachers, learn new things, and spend time with their classmates & friends.  A couple questions have come to my mind as we prepared for the school year.  What can I do to ensure my children are confident?  What can I do to make sure I send them from a happy home?

I want my children to know I love them.  I want them to step out the front door every morning with a smile on their face & the attitude that “today is going to be a good day”.  They should walk the halls of their school with heads held high; knowing who they are and be a good, kind, positive person.  I want them to walk into their classes and say “I can do this”.   I desire for them to want to come home at the end of each day.

I feel like my kids are pretty confident and independent.  They know they are loved and cared for.  They enjoy sharing stories and time with family.  I tell them "I Love You".  I taxi them around and make them meals.  I give them chores to teach them responsibility.  We hug.  We encourage and congratulate.  Am I doing it right?  Is it enough?

Sometimes, it is hard to be positive at home, because it is our safe place.  Home is where we can let go of our inhibitions and worries and walls.  Home can be such a loving comfort.  So much comfort that we forget our positive attitude and manners with those we love most.  And because we are family, we will continue to love and forgive.  But as parents, are we sending a hidden message when we let these negative words and attitudes take over?  What are our Children taking away?  Are we taking away from their confidence?  What happens to our Children’s positive attitude?  How are they going to perceive the world?

Our children need to feel comfort at home, it needs to be a place they find safety.  Children can look to parents for approval, love, encouragement, and teaching.  I want my kids to come home to be rebuilt, not torn down.  While searching the web for ideas about this post, I found some great quotes.

I LOVE this quote-

 

It is true for more than just kids.  Every one's memories are related to how they felt at the time.  If we can recognize this as the parent, it will help us apply it when spending time with our families.  Our children will desire to return home each day, if they feel loved and safe.  Our children will leave the home ready to take on the challenges of the day, if they can take those feelings of love and safety with them.

 

I found this list of things parents can do to teach confidence in their children:  I have analyzed how I can apply this in my life & home.

1- Such a good way to discover that they can do things for themselves.

2- This is a hard balance sometimes.  It can be a fine line when we see their potential.

3- Sometimes when I check on my kids jobs, I only point out what they didn't do.  I need to remember to offer praise.

4- If we don't believe in ourselves how can they?

5- Set aside the time & DO IT!!!

6- I choose to show them this by example.  I LOVE making goals.

7- I need to be better at teaching my kids they can do hard things.  I get frustrated & do it for them.

8- Boy, oh, boy (and one more boy), do I know this.  3 different boys (+ a girl) in our house.

9- Say "I Love You" as often as you can.  I love my little 3 year old.  She tells me "Momma, I Love You" all day long.  I enjoy saying "I Love You" back!!

 

10- We are a Christian home.  It is VERY important our children know there is always a Father in Heaven who loves them.  I hope that your home has a spiritual relief, where children can release negative thoughts & turn for peace. 

 

I want my kids to leave home knowing (not just believing) the things on the following poster: 

 

 

If my children know this, if they know they are loved, if they know that as parents we believe in them- there is nothing that will break them down.  And because I am not a perfect parent, and my children are not perfect, there will be flaws.  There will be mistakes.  There will be a little yelling now & then.  And sometimes maybe tears.  But despite the mistakes and tears, my kids will know I love them.  They will be able to go out in the world and be themselves.  And...

I know there will be laughing!!

 

Setting Goals

We all need to set goals.  It gives us something to work toward.  Whether it’s a goal to read a book, or find peace in our lives, become physically fit, get an education, or even get dinner on the table tonight.  We all have goals big and small.  We may not even realize how many goals we set in a day.  We call it our “to do list”.  But to accomplish these goals we have to have a plan.

Goals can become habit, they can improve your overall life, and even other’s.  Some goals can be life changing events.   My current goals that change my daily routine are to learn about & participate (& do well) in the Mrs. Idaho Pageant (plus all the community involvement that goes along with it!).  I need to work out to become physically fit enough to be on stage in a swimsuit, without having a panic attack.  I do have other things in life I would like to do, but I have not created a plan for those.  This is where I have prioritized my time.

There is a person in my life that has been an uplifting voice, encouraging attitude, and perfect picture of endurance.  It is my sister-in-law, Lindsay.  She is always smiling, and sharing positive and kind words.  I’ve never heard her speak ill of another person or put anyone down.  I enjoy being around her, hearing from her, and having her as family and a friend.

Lindsay was a source of inspiration to me this past weekend.  Lindsay told me a few months ago she was doing a sprint triathlon.  She was nervous, but used her knowledge and resources and trained.  Lindsay did research on bikes, attire, wet suits, and training schedules.  She watched YouTube videos to help her be a better swimmer.  She went to the gym and swam laps (sometimes twice a day), rode bikes, and ran.  She practiced transitioning between swim, bike, & run.  She studied the course map and drove the race route.  She practiced swimming in open water; she practiced riding the bike route.  Lindsay has a hubby who made a great support team!  She also had a pretty fun cheering section. ;) 

The day of the event arrived.  We were at the lake early in the morning to cheer her on.  She started & we could barely keep up with her!  She was a speed demon on that course.  She felt good, she had prepared, and the goal was being accomplished!!  She place 1^st in her age division.  It was so fun to see her accomplish this goal she had been working toward.  Lindsay enjoyed it, she was prepared for it, and she performed exceptionally well.  And was still up for pageant shopping afterward!!

It is such an inspiration of how goal setting should be.  Make a plan, work toward that plan, and don’t give up.  Having an event at the end really helps.  You know you have to have it done by a certain time.  My personality type needs something like that to help accomplish goals.  The Pageant as a deadline has been good for me.  Now I want to try a triathlon too!!  Lindsay has given me a lot of energy & great tips.  I know triathlon season is about over & I’m concentrating on the pageant right now.  But I would love to do one next spring/ summer.

I don’t feel like I’m saying anything new.  But hopefully this gives you a nice reminder, a gentle push, or new perspective to goal setting; and maybe even physical fitness.  Please share goals you have set & are working on, or have accomplished!  I would love hear your success stories.  Share some of the struggles you have had while working on goals.  Let’s see if a new perspective can help!!?

Happy Mother’s Day!

It's Mother’s Day and I want to share some positives of being a mother.  Let’s face it, it’s not an easy job & being reminded of why we want this job, is always helpful.   There are a lot of jokes, sayings, & quotes.  Here are some that I enjoy.

 When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed. ~Linda Wooten

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother. ~Abraham Lincoln

“Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind.”
― Howard W. Hunter

"There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A mother has far greater influence on her children than anyone else, and she must realize that every word she speaks, every act, every response, her attitude, even her appearance and manner of dress affect the lives of her children and the whole family. It is while the child is in the home that he gains from his mother the attitudes, hopes, and beliefs that will determine the kind of life he will live and the contribution he will make to society.”
― N. Eldon Tanner

“I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love & duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting & challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring to it.”
― Rose Kennedy

“There is no greater good in all the world than motherhood. The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation.”
― James E. Faust

“...moms, even good ones, sometimes lose it a little so as not to lose it all.”
― Susan Squire

“Having kids — the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings — is the biggest job anyone can embark on”
― Maria Shriver

"If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent." -- Bette Davis

Some of these offer inspiration, humor, and a reminder of just how important we are.  I know there are days that you wonder if you can keep going, or if your doing it all wrong.  Keep trying your best, you are a mother forever and your children love you, no matter what.  I hope today you feel that love and appreciation.  And don't forget your own mother.

Mrs. Idaho America

I am going to jump around a little bit with my personal journey. I previously wrote about my desire to try new things and continually progress. As part of that journey, I looked up opportunities to serve my community and share my talents. That search led me to the Mrs. Idaho America Pageant. I have never done a pageant before. I always enjoyed watching them on TV and seeing all the beautiful dresses. I didn't even think twice about doing it when I was a teen. Sounded neat, but not for me. I didn't have the self-confidence or motivation to give myself that opportunity. Now, I don't need other people to tell me I am good person, I love my life and my family. This pageant was an opportunity for me to explore service opportunities in my community. And explore a fun way, to find a different perspective about myself. I have definitely accomplished that and so much more. I have met over 80 women from across our state that are doing the same thing: serving their community, raising a family, and sharing their love of marriage with others. There are so many amazing women in this state, and the ladies in the pageant are just a handful representing all of them. It is so inspiring. I meet with these ladies and it makes me feel uplifted, feel good about who I am and gives me inspiration to keep going, be my best, and share this excitement with my family and community. It is truly an amazing thing to sit in a room with women of this caliber. And I had the opportunity to do that this weekend. Just imagine an empty hotel banquet room filled with tables, chairs, pageant packets, and sparkle. In walk 45 women, the women start to introduce themselves by name & title. As the conversations continue we hear about what everyone's families are doing that day. Wow!! This room is filled with people who have really busy schedules. In walks our current Mrs. Idaho, full of smiles, then we see Mrs. World come in with her spunky young personality spilling all over the room. We did a little dance together and heard about their amazing journey. Our pageant directors and sponsors spoke to us about service opportunities, hair care & styling, skin care, make up application, fundraising opportunities, jeans, spray tans, dresses, accessories, community service, kitchen items, health drinks, fitness, eating clean, and more service opportunities. Then we had some time to practice interviews and walking in heels on stage and take some pictures. It was such an information packed, eye opening, uplifting, and girly girl day for me. I am absolutely enjoying this chance to explore myself, serve my community, and celebrate my marriage and family. This has been a very positive experience for me, so far. And it is giving me the chance to "Be the Change I want to See in The World".

Mrs. Idaho- Misty Kesler; Mrs. Eagle- Alyson Likes; Mrs. World- Kaley Sparling

 
If you would like to follow my journey in the pageant, meet my sponsors, and learn more about the Mrs. Idaho America Pageant check out my Facebook Fan Page: Mrs. Eagle- Alyson Likes

Spring Break Trip

Our family took our first Family Vacation!! We've gone to visit Grandpa & Grandma in another state as a family, that was okay when the kids were younger, but we realize they need other adventures too. We've gone camping around our beautiful state of Idaho- I would recommend it to everyone!! The big boys have gone out of state for some fun adventures with Dad (thanks to baseball tournaments), but never all 6 of us together. So... I started looking up trips to Disneyland or Las Vegas. Unsure if I was finding the best price, I shared my ideas with my sister, dad, and mom. It turns out my sister & my mom were thinking of Disneyland trips too. So, even better- we planned a multiple family trip together!! The planning was so fun, sharing deals, and finally confirming our vacation purchase!! This was such a great way to see family we don't see often, and have a family vacation. I was so excited, I shared this excitement with my kids (who thought I was crazy- but went with it anyway). We saved up money, did jobs around the house to earn spending money, got everything prepared for the best trip ever! And it was!

Here's why- Disneyland is the Happiest Place on Earth. Really- it is. I don't know how they find that many employees willing to do a somewhat monotonous job (pushing the same ride buttons, waving their arms for the lines to move, sweeping up spilled popcorn), and still smile & call everyone "Princess" or "Prince" or "Musketeer". They were always willing to lend a hand getting on & off rides. I heard some answer the same questions over and over again. The way they kindly remind people not to climb on the chains, fences, or rocks. I don't think a single employee had a bad day. If they did, it didn't show!!! I was so impressed by these positive attitudes. From the moment we stepped off our shuttle & got into the bag check line, each and every employee smiled & spoke kindly. I realize, for some of them, it is how they keep their job, others may actually enjoy seeing 50,000 + people everyday, all day. Whatever it is, Disney has done a wonderful job training their employees, and keeping their employees happy. I actually wanted to apply for a job while we were there, just to experience that unconditional positive happiness. CRAZY?! My kids didn't want to leave, they liked the idea of getting a job at Disneyland and living there forever.

This raised two questions in my mind- 1. Would I ever get tired of being that happy all the time? 2. Why do I need to look for unconditional happiness outside of my own life? I can be that kind of happy, all the time, in my own life- now. Everyone has bad days, it happens. But is it the world's fault? I don't need to take it out on people I meet while running errands. They didn't wake my two year old up crying at 1:30 am, and again at 2:45 am, and again at 6:30 am. They didn't eat all of the cereal and cause my 5 year old to throw a tantrum over it. But... here's the harder part- when this happens in my home (which it does, more than I like), do I still look at my two year old and call her princess? What about my 5 year old musketeer? How am I handling this bad day? Currently- I'm blogging about it. I'm hoping that by sharing my thoughts and goals with all of you, I will feel more accountable to having that unconditional happiness. I do wish I could go through the Disneyland training & see what the motivation is to be kind to the toddler who is screaming about sitting on their mom's lap, or calm the lady down who complained about standing in line so long, just to have the ride break down as she got to the front of the line. (This happened to me twice, but I never felt the need to be upset, because they were so nice about it!) Where can I get that kind of training?

I have to add a little religion here. My religion is part of my everyday life. It is my lifestyle and how I make my decisions. This unconditional happiness that I saw & felt at Disneyland is similar to the unconditional Christ-like love that I have experienced throughout my life. My Savior and Father in Heaven have and always will give it to me, my parents offer it to me and my family. That is what I need to do for my family and others that I cross paths with. I need to share the love & happiness to all the Musketeers that come in and out of my life, but especially the Princess and Princes that are so precious in my world. I know bad days will still happen, but my memories of Disneyland can help brighten those days & give me hope to get through them, along with my prayers and faith of eternal families. I can have that happiness in my life all the time, if I choose to- and never tire of it. I am not getting paid by Disney to promote family vacations there, but I do hope your family can experience the joys of Disneyland. If not, at least a family outing to renew that happiness in your family.

My Positive Influence

When baby #4 was born, I had my girl (after 3 boys). I know I need to be a good example to her. I want to show her the joy of being a woman and the pleasures of motherhood. I want to her to see a woman that is continually progressing and learning new things. My stay-at-home mom never settled for the bon-bon and daytime television stereotype. My Mother was always doing things to progress, to take care of our family and home, and participating in all our activities. I remember her Jane Fonda work outs, holiday crafts for decorating our home, helping other mom’s by babysitting and delivering dinners and goodies, substitute teaching at our school, coming to my piano and dance recitals, attending my brother’s sporting events, and planning weddings,traveling with the love of her life (my dad!)all over the country and world. She was always supportive of my dad’s military career and school administration career, when we were all in school she accepted a full-time teaching position, and while working she went back to school for her Master’s Degree in School Administration, and became a school principal, with all that she still travels to visit and participate in her grandkids lives. And she continues to progress even when retiring. My parents will soon be serving a full-time mission for our church in Tonga. My mom never called it quits, and we gave her plenty of excuses to! She was always progressing in knowledge, adventures, and love. That is the mom I want to be; the mom that teaches her children to keep learning and progressing, while enjoying her family and home. Thanks Mom for being a positive in my life!! My mom holding my daughter and helping with my boys. She is The Best Mom & Grandma!! My daughter, Me, My Mom, and Her Mom. How awesome to have amazing generations together!

My Life Evolving

I suffered from post-partum depression after my second child was born. I don’t want to ever be that mom, wife, or woman again. I didn’t recognize myself. I felt so much sadness and anger, and quit trying to be happy. I didn’t care if anyone else was happy either. What family wants to live like that? Thankfully, not mine. I had a husband who could see the negativity & protected my boys from it. He was kind enough to listen & to offer support. I was so worried he would shun me for being less than the perfect wife & mother. He tried to understand, even though I didn’t. We looked up information on line & went into the Dr. together. Sure enough it was depression & my husband didn’t cast me away or lock me in a rubber room. We accepted the diagnosis; we tried the medication and recommendations from the Doctor. 4 months later it was under control, and a couple months after that the Doctor weaned me off the medication. Sometimes I can feel & see similar symptoms creeping into my mind or daily life. I refuse to let that woman come back. I keep searching for things to better myself, my family, and my home. I’m not saying I have it figured out, but our family is still together and most days happy.