Positive ~ Confident ~ Children

It’s the first day of School and my children are headed off to the halls of 7^th, 5^th, & 1^st grades.  They are excited to meet new teachers, learn new things, and spend time with their classmates & friends.  A couple questions have come to my mind as we prepared for the school year.  What can I do to ensure my children are confident?  What can I do to make sure I send them from a happy home?

I want my children to know I love them.  I want them to step out the front door every morning with a smile on their face & the attitude that “today is going to be a good day”.  They should walk the halls of their school with heads held high; knowing who they are and be a good, kind, positive person.  I want them to walk into their classes and say “I can do this”.   I desire for them to want to come home at the end of each day.

I feel like my kids are pretty confident and independent.  They know they are loved and cared for.  They enjoy sharing stories and time with family.  I tell them "I Love You".  I taxi them around and make them meals.  I give them chores to teach them responsibility.  We hug.  We encourage and congratulate.  Am I doing it right?  Is it enough?

Sometimes, it is hard to be positive at home, because it is our safe place.  Home is where we can let go of our inhibitions and worries and walls.  Home can be such a loving comfort.  So much comfort that we forget our positive attitude and manners with those we love most.  And because we are family, we will continue to love and forgive.  But as parents, are we sending a hidden message when we let these negative words and attitudes take over?  What are our Children taking away?  Are we taking away from their confidence?  What happens to our Children’s positive attitude?  How are they going to perceive the world?

Our children need to feel comfort at home, it needs to be a place they find safety.  Children can look to parents for approval, love, encouragement, and teaching.  I want my kids to come home to be rebuilt, not torn down.  While searching the web for ideas about this post, I found some great quotes.

I LOVE this quote-

 

It is true for more than just kids.  Every one's memories are related to how they felt at the time.  If we can recognize this as the parent, it will help us apply it when spending time with our families.  Our children will desire to return home each day, if they feel loved and safe.  Our children will leave the home ready to take on the challenges of the day, if they can take those feelings of love and safety with them.

 

I found this list of things parents can do to teach confidence in their children:  I have analyzed how I can apply this in my life & home.

1- Such a good way to discover that they can do things for themselves.

2- This is a hard balance sometimes.  It can be a fine line when we see their potential.

3- Sometimes when I check on my kids jobs, I only point out what they didn't do.  I need to remember to offer praise.

4- If we don't believe in ourselves how can they?

5- Set aside the time & DO IT!!!

6- I choose to show them this by example.  I LOVE making goals.

7- I need to be better at teaching my kids they can do hard things.  I get frustrated & do it for them.

8- Boy, oh, boy (and one more boy), do I know this.  3 different boys (+ a girl) in our house.

9- Say "I Love You" as often as you can.  I love my little 3 year old.  She tells me "Momma, I Love You" all day long.  I enjoy saying "I Love You" back!!

 

10- We are a Christian home.  It is VERY important our children know there is always a Father in Heaven who loves them.  I hope that your home has a spiritual relief, where children can release negative thoughts & turn for peace. 

 

I want my kids to leave home knowing (not just believing) the things on the following poster: 

 

 

If my children know this, if they know they are loved, if they know that as parents we believe in them- there is nothing that will break them down.  And because I am not a perfect parent, and my children are not perfect, there will be flaws.  There will be mistakes.  There will be a little yelling now & then.  And sometimes maybe tears.  But despite the mistakes and tears, my kids will know I love them.  They will be able to go out in the world and be themselves.  And...

I know there will be laughing!!

 

Setting Goals

We all need to set goals.  It gives us something to work toward.  Whether it’s a goal to read a book, or find peace in our lives, become physically fit, get an education, or even get dinner on the table tonight.  We all have goals big and small.  We may not even realize how many goals we set in a day.  We call it our “to do list”.  But to accomplish these goals we have to have a plan.

Goals can become habit, they can improve your overall life, and even other’s.  Some goals can be life changing events.   My current goals that change my daily routine are to learn about & participate (& do well) in the Mrs. Idaho Pageant (plus all the community involvement that goes along with it!).  I need to work out to become physically fit enough to be on stage in a swimsuit, without having a panic attack.  I do have other things in life I would like to do, but I have not created a plan for those.  This is where I have prioritized my time.

There is a person in my life that has been an uplifting voice, encouraging attitude, and perfect picture of endurance.  It is my sister-in-law, Lindsay.  She is always smiling, and sharing positive and kind words.  I’ve never heard her speak ill of another person or put anyone down.  I enjoy being around her, hearing from her, and having her as family and a friend.

Lindsay was a source of inspiration to me this past weekend.  Lindsay told me a few months ago she was doing a sprint triathlon.  She was nervous, but used her knowledge and resources and trained.  Lindsay did research on bikes, attire, wet suits, and training schedules.  She watched YouTube videos to help her be a better swimmer.  She went to the gym and swam laps (sometimes twice a day), rode bikes, and ran.  She practiced transitioning between swim, bike, & run.  She studied the course map and drove the race route.  She practiced swimming in open water; she practiced riding the bike route.  Lindsay has a hubby who made a great support team!  She also had a pretty fun cheering section. ;) 

The day of the event arrived.  We were at the lake early in the morning to cheer her on.  She started & we could barely keep up with her!  She was a speed demon on that course.  She felt good, she had prepared, and the goal was being accomplished!!  She place 1^st in her age division.  It was so fun to see her accomplish this goal she had been working toward.  Lindsay enjoyed it, she was prepared for it, and she performed exceptionally well.  And was still up for pageant shopping afterward!!

It is such an inspiration of how goal setting should be.  Make a plan, work toward that plan, and don’t give up.  Having an event at the end really helps.  You know you have to have it done by a certain time.  My personality type needs something like that to help accomplish goals.  The Pageant as a deadline has been good for me.  Now I want to try a triathlon too!!  Lindsay has given me a lot of energy & great tips.  I know triathlon season is about over & I’m concentrating on the pageant right now.  But I would love to do one next spring/ summer.

I don’t feel like I’m saying anything new.  But hopefully this gives you a nice reminder, a gentle push, or new perspective to goal setting; and maybe even physical fitness.  Please share goals you have set & are working on, or have accomplished!  I would love hear your success stories.  Share some of the struggles you have had while working on goals.  Let’s see if a new perspective can help!!?

Social Media

 I have found Social Media a GREAT place to keep in touch with friends, use for networking, and follow promotions from businesses.  I have also seen a lot of attacking and bullying.  I realize that everyone has a right to their opinion, and are allowed to express it.  I do not want to come off as ignorant or intolerant.

I follow our local news channels & newspapers on Facebook.  They often share a piece of news and ask for people to share their opinions in the comments.  I do think it is wonderful that we can create these discussions.  But I often find myself getting emotional or worked up about some of the comments.  I don’t want to be that person, so I have to stop reading.  A lot of people share their opinion, without really understanding the topic.  Others may be knowledgeable, and attack people.

I started following some of the pageant systems on Facebook and through blogs.  I enjoy sending notes of congratulations and Thanks.  I am surprised at the comments that are left belittling those who are in the posts or making personal attacks.  If you are so against that person or what they are doing, why are you following it?  How does your hateful comment make you any better than what you are attacking?  Same goes for some of the religious pages I follow.  I understand religion is a controversial topic.  But why must we feel the need to bring others down?  Tell me why your beliefs are right, not why others are wrong.

Does it make you look better when you make someone else feel bad?  We all know the answer is NO!  We’ve been taught this from a very young age.  It is called bullying.  If you are happy for someone or something, say so.  If you aren’t, do you need be rude?  That’s where the rule- If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all- comes into play.  It isn’t necessary to attack, disrespect, or belittle someone or their cause.  You can have an opinion about a subject, without disrespecting others.

So… There are two points to this post.  One- When we share our opinions, let’s try to do it in an objective way, without being ignorant or attacking.  And Two- when we read other’s opinions try not to judge and be personally offended.  Rise above the rudeness, walk away from it, turn it off.

It is my opinion that we need to fill ourselves and others with as much positive as we can.  Who knows?  That positive feedback may come back to uplift and better you.